Do you travel without your spouse?

I liked this article on how it’s becoming increasingly common for spouses to vacation without their bettter halves. I know that a collegaue and I once went to Hong Kong and Taipei while my wife stayed home. It was a good experience but I definitely remember thinking that Hong Kong was a fairly romantic city (especially the ferry rides) that would have been better with my wife.

And my wife has been to Beijing, Hong Kong, Tokyo, and Utah/Arizona/California without me. Those trips were half business though…

At some point, we’ll probably do it again, mostly because there are some things I want to do that she’s not interested in (kayaking and hiking in particular). I wonder how you feel about traveling solo when married (or traveling with friends but not your spouse) – is it healthy and normal?

Filed Under: Travel discussion

Comments (19)

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  1. Maggie says:

    Absolutely! Every woman needs a chance to travel, especially with her girl friends. I love my “girl’s week-ends” and would hate to give them up. I think it’s really healthy and necessary.

  2. Laurie says:

    My mom travels with friends or with me b/c my dad doesn’t really like to travel.

  3. Connie says:

    Seperate vacations are a couple’s choice. I suppose some would think it not acceptable especially if vacation time is limited to 1-2 weeks per year. As for my hubby and I we have enjoyed seperate vacations for many years now. He likes to hunt and fish with his buddies and I like to go on cruise vacations with my son, another mom and her kids (our 14 year-old sons are good friends). We are leaving soon on our fifth cruise together. I enjoy dining, wining, sunning and shopping. My husband would be bored doing this. To each his own!

  4. Jill says:

    More than healthy; it’s essential for us! I take vacations (long weekends) 1-2 times per year with my girlfriends. We get to sleep in, shop, get spa treatments, do happy hour, eat fine dinners and stay out until whenever. My husband hates most of those things, so he prefers get-away weekends for racing. We’re both happier that way! Then once a year we take a long family vacation with the kids.

  5. Janice says:

    I prefer vacationing without my husband in most cases. As others have stated, you get to do what you want and enjoy it. My husband is away on business a few times a year and he extends the time away to play some golf, gamble, etc. I enjoy the sun and beach with my sister and girlfriends. Healthy? The best for me! It is my time to unwind without the hassles of another person to worry about.

  6. Sheri says:

    I always have vacationed without my better half until last year when he agreed to go on a cruise with my friends and I. I was worried that he would have a terrible time, he had the time of his life, as I did, we can’t wait to go on another cruise together!! I will say I enjoy my alone time with my friends but, I think vacationing with my husband is just as wonderful.

  7. alsky says:

    My husband and I travel together most of the time, though I will take a weekend every once in a while and go visit friends. If I’m going somewhere wonderful, I prefer to go with my husband so we can experience it together. We like the same things–fine dining, wine, and experiencing new places. There is always time for me to fit in a spa treatment or him to fit in golf. I certainly think it’s healthy to do things separately, but also necessary to make time to do special things as a couple.

  8. Roni says:

    Normal…..hmmmmm…..you do realize the only place that word actually exists is in a dictionary.

    You are the one married to your spouse. Did you come home, to peace and contentment or stress? The two of you are the only ones that can answer whether or not it was ok.

    My husband is an avid fisherman…..the first decade we were married, I joined him…..bonding with together time, until there was something I wanted him to do with me and he moaned and groaned and said for me to just go, and he would go fishing……

    So for the last decade, we have done it that way! We do, travel together to other places, like tropical islands and such…because we both like that…but that is not the norm…..that is only occasionally.

    We are into our third decade now….and we have a grandson now…..so many of our vacations are wrapped around him…..which we both like….so I guess we have gone full circle.

    You guys will find the comfort zone in your relationship…..it doesn’t matter what any one else thinks. :o)

  9. bea beckers says:

    I went to Panama and Cartagena (Colombia) last year and I had a great time w/o my partner.

    This year I just came back from the Greek Islands and my neighbor and I went together also was a great experience (He doesn’t like planes and even less long trips)He always excuse himself by saying I don’t know everything in the US of A! I like to stay here and see more of my country! oh well I do it by my self and have a ball!

  10. Jim says:

    Never! We have always traveled either as a family or a couple. I have noticed that those who are the happiest in their old age, still holding hands and really loving one another, still carrying that “torch”, are those who kept “in touch” over the years. They have something in common that they have always shared. Vacations and life. All of my friends who went their separate ways with buddies and such are now divorced. The ones who always spent the time with their spouses are still happily married, even after 30 or 40 years. Can’t argue with success!

  11. Cynthia says:

    My husband and I will be married ten years this August. We travel seperate as well as together, but this past March I traveled to Rome without him. He just wasn’t interested (gasp) and rather than ruin the experience for me, suggested I go with friends and other family members. I absolutely loved Rome, and though I called my hubby each day, I was perfectly fine scooting through the Roman streets without him. I am planning another trip to Italy, and he will not be accompanying me on that one either. I adore my hubby, but we are two different people with different interests. If it works for us – why not?? Ciao!

  12. Javier says:

    There is nothing strange about it. My wife and I have been married for 4 1/2 years and we have traveled together as well as on our own. In Feb 2009 I already have a trip planned with a couple friends to Puerto Vallarta and Guadalajara Mexico. As long as there is an agreement as a couple there everything should remain relaxed.

  13. Frank says:

    Now that we are retired we keep the following schedule (perhaps to strong of a word). My wife: 3-4 months renting a house in Ireland, 3-4 months in Bahamas, 1 month odds and ends and 3 months at home. Myself: 2 months in Ireland, 2 months in the Bahamas-1 month odds and ends and 7-8 months at home. It works beautifully, we both enjoy solitude, privacy and freedom from and expectations. We do hold hands when we are together and I only love her more. Whether she is with me or not she is always a part of my life and experiences.

  14. eric says:

    I THINK THAT IF YOU ARE MARRIED YOU SHOULD TRAVEL TOGETHER.TEMPTAION IS IN THE WORLD!

  15. r.a.danny says:

    I am with Connie, I hunt and fish, my wife would rather sit on a beach.

    eric, please grow a pair and stop yelling.

  16. Jenni says:

    My husband’s dad was a car dealer, and so he travelled a lot to trade shows and the like. My family didn’t have a lot of money, so I didn’t step on a plane until I was 21. So there are a lot of places I’d like to see that he has already. We tend to alternate between travelling together and me going alone for a weekend.

  17. JS 11 says:

    My wife travels twice a year with friends and a first I really resented her doing it for a number of reasons. Issues over safety, feelings of exclusion, missed opp to be with her somewhere we had not been together, and probably some trust issues due to a few incidents about being pushed to use a male masseuse and see nude broadway shows. The biggest issue is the feeling of being displaced in her life focus by her friends…huge jealousy issue there. Sometimes a kneejerk reaction is not the most reasonable response and groundrules can be established that allow both parties to have what they want/need.

    We got into some very heated arguments over this and almost ended up in marriage counseling because we crossed some issues that could have been handled in advance. I have learned to trust my wife and her less wild friends but the other issues still apply, just with lesser intensity.

    I still do not enjoy her being gone but I tolerate it because she seems to needs to go with friends occasionally when the really want her company. It is important that a spouse shows gratitude for the tolerance and recognition of the discomfort that this situation causes if she detects it. Bottom Line: show that you miss him too and it will go a long way toward putting the issue in the background of your marriage.

    I have never had any desire to vacation without my wife and none of my many friends do this regularly either. There is simply no desire on my part to travel away from my wife with friends for me because I do things with friends locally. She encourages it but my desire to act on it has been minimal. Perhaps she is looking to reduce her guilt about the issue by getting me to do the same? Maybe I would like it at this point?

    I wish I could control my discomfort on this issue but some of the track record early on really ruined it for me. Lay the groundrules out in advance and you will both be happier.

  18. sabaton says:

    Travling without your siginificate other is awsome you can cheat and they’ll never know a thing unless your stupid and give your number to the mistress. Why you think people like to travel without that supervision?? People say they can be lose and never have to worry about the other lol that’s funny. Everyone who travels and they’re partner travel without them maybe you care maybe you don’t but your wife/husband is f*cking somebody else lol haha and you must be doing the same shit. You all are f*cking disgusting.

  19. Sara says:

    i found this because my husband and I are on vacation now and he seems like he’s having a miserable time. I don’t know what to do but he’s very mean to me whenever we go on trips. I think I should just go on vacations without him as I feel it would make both of us happier.

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